Bring It ON

All I ever wanted was to be a mom.

There are times that I have questioned whether or not I can do this. Parenting. I admit I have thought alot about the type of parent I want to be and wonder at times (more times than I want to admit) whether I will be able to achieve that vision of the mom I want to be, and when it comes down to it whether or not I will do it well. Usually I get these feelings the when I am yelling at the puppy for things I know he really doesn't understand and really I am usually more mad that I haven't taught him well enough and I question if I will be good enough, patient enough, tough enough.

Then something amazing happened.

I was on call this weekend and exhausted. I went to take a nap, put the puppy in the crate, closed the door and settled in. I just about get to sleep and the dogs go crazy and start barking. I get them settled and then the phone rings with a call from a patient. Two hours of sleep attempts later with what amounted to maybe 15 minutes of actual napping, I gave up. I expected to be annoyed and frustrated by the whole situation and I realized that I was a little bummed but otherwise just accepted that there was no sleep for me that afternoon. WAIT! Who said that? I know its not a lot but if gave me hope that I can learn to roll with the punches and give up control at times and just accept that what will be, will be.  I know I will still have moments of doubt and I will still worry about doing it "right." So to that I say...I am ready... BRING IT ON...

P.S. Remind me of this in September :)