Message from the "smallest Searles"

Dear Dad,
I know I am a little late with this letter but I have no way to get to the computer on my own and you know what a procratinator mom is!

I wanted to let you know how much I already love you and how I know you already love me.  I am going to be the luckiest baby around because I have you.

I want to thank you for working so hard for our family even though it means you work long days and on the weekends. I know that you are doing this to get everything perfect for when I come home and to make mommy happy so she does not freak out about whether or not my room is too drafty because the windows are old. Mom told me that you offered to do a complicated painting project for my room and it was all your idea!

I also want to thank you for putting up with mommy and me through this process. I know that she has a tough time sometimes with all the changes that are happening and you have been so patient and taken such good care of her all while making her laugh and keeping your sense of humor, and I know it means a lot to her.

I cannot wait to meet you! I know you are going to do all the things with me that mommy thinks are dangerous and will make her so nervous but you will keep me safe. You will play with me and make me giggle and take care of me and mommy in the most amazing ways because you already are and I am not even there yet.

See you in September!
Love, the smallest searles

Bring It ON

All I ever wanted was to be a mom.

There are times that I have questioned whether or not I can do this. Parenting. I admit I have thought alot about the type of parent I want to be and wonder at times (more times than I want to admit) whether I will be able to achieve that vision of the mom I want to be, and when it comes down to it whether or not I will do it well. Usually I get these feelings the when I am yelling at the puppy for things I know he really doesn't understand and really I am usually more mad that I haven't taught him well enough and I question if I will be good enough, patient enough, tough enough.

Then something amazing happened.

I was on call this weekend and exhausted. I went to take a nap, put the puppy in the crate, closed the door and settled in. I just about get to sleep and the dogs go crazy and start barking. I get them settled and then the phone rings with a call from a patient. Two hours of sleep attempts later with what amounted to maybe 15 minutes of actual napping, I gave up. I expected to be annoyed and frustrated by the whole situation and I realized that I was a little bummed but otherwise just accepted that there was no sleep for me that afternoon. WAIT! Who said that? I know its not a lot but if gave me hope that I can learn to roll with the punches and give up control at times and just accept that what will be, will be.  I know I will still have moments of doubt and I will still worry about doing it "right." So to that I say...I am ready... BRING IT ON...

P.S. Remind me of this in September :)

Reflections on things I have learned...

So as I sit here today, told to stay out of work for 1 day and and told to take it easy this week i.e. more desk work and less running around, I started to think about the things I have realized about my pregnancy so far....

1. Walking uphill (or flights of stairs) can cause shortness of breath as can putting on socks or shoes
2. The baby is taking after the puppy and is in what seems like constant motion
3. This constant dance party takes place on my bladder more often than not
4. The bladder dancing makes it a cat and mouse game to stay hydrated
5. I should feel lucky that I don't need maternity clothes but I have serious bump envy and still feel like I look more like I "let myself go" and not like I am pregnant which seems unfair at 6 months.
6. Designing the nursery is much more complicated than one would think when the theme was picked out before this baby was even a twinkle in our eyes.
7. I cannot wait to meet our "smallest searles"

Pain in the.... Belly

So I started a blog. I really wanted to document my pregnancy and the new baby's life not only for my self but for all those little moments for my family and friends from afar. It may not always be insightful or philosophical but it IS a memory...So here goes....

This baby has been a long awaited treasure and we could not be more excited to meet the little one. You may have noticed the lack of pronouns.. thats right folks we are TEAM GREEN. For those of you not hip to the pregnancy speak :) that means we are not finding out the sex before we meet this nugget. This has created many mixed reactions in our families as the grandparents really want to shop for little girl dresses or tiny baseball warm-ups but I really want to have that suprise in the delivery room. Yup I said I because my wonderful husband Dan would love to find out however totally supports me in the fact that I don't! The OB said she would let Dan announce the sex when the baby was born which I feel is a really special moment that we can share and the greatest surpise of our lives. Yes this does make some shopping infinitely more difficult and not as fun however I feel it will be totally worth it. Plus I know some grandparents that can do a lot of damage in a few days, heck a few hours.